Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
