Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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