yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
