love makes seman taste better
Too much gin, very little bucket
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
