This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
