Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
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