Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
