no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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