I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
