my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
