hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
