just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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