he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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