You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
