i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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