planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I have post one night stand depression
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