Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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