i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
