She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize