Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
