You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
barbara walters just said penis...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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