the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
