The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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