She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
