hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
