She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We need to get me chipped asap
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
