I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Randomize
