Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
