Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
