Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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