So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
