Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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