so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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