His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
