It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
