dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
