I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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