Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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