I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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