yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
