like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
