you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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