I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
