hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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