We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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