seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
pray to the hookup gods
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
