discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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