Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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