Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
