jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
