i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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